Most nights, something-or-other reminds me of an old friend. I wish I could tell him just once how much he meant to me. Tonight is one of those. My heart never seems to ache any less at his memory. Still, I like to believe we'll someday speak again and that helps a little.
I don't know whether my perception reflects reality because I don't know why he and I are no longer present in each other's lives. Whatever his reasons, however, I believe he felt he was being a truer friend by "leaving" than he would have been, had he lacked the courage to say goodbye. And I respect that instinct - not only because I don't have a choice but also because I trust in his decency and esteem. I'm therefore publishing the following poem not because I seek to idealize my friend or to demand some sort of "answer" from Life, but simply so that for now I won't bury it inside.
In addition to finding relief from persistent thoughts, I'm also trying to learn to have patience with life in general (which, most know, seldom comes with satisfactory explanations) and to open my heart to future friendships despite the certainty of feeling hurt and confused again. I never want to incorrectly feel that the massive beauty of love (friendship) isn't worth its massive risks.
* * * * *
Missing you tonight
Faith in the heart that loved me
Enough to spare me
No comments:
Post a Comment