?

Where are you hiding?

I checked all our meeting spots

Around town - no you.

Girl behind the glass

Still ugly despite make-up.

The bathroom mirror

It's Just One of "Those Things."

Turned you down before.

If invited one more time,

I might say "OK."

Acquaintance

Dark eyes study you

from underneath my hat rim.

frown disguised as smile

Exhausted but firm,

struggle onward... upward... out!

delicate victor.

These Days

Strange stumbling across the profile of someone I used to care a great deal for. Two years ago now? At least, I thought I did at the time. Not positive or negative really. Just strange. And perhaps a bit lonely. (Beautiful girlfriend now. And me...?) Although, I'm not convinced I ever truly knew him. I think I just wanted something so badly that I persuaded myself it was mine for a while. "You can't go forcing something if it's just not right," sings Green Day. And it wasn't right.

Well, it's all in the past now. This goes out to WP.

* * * * *

Imaginary

pebbles tapped my window pane

in a borrowed dream

Bad Mood

"I'm in a bad mood."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Go the **** away."

Library Window

Today I found a window wide enough to hold me at the library. It was out of the clerk's sight on a landing between the first and second floors. You bet I took advantage...

* * * * *

Library window

Oaken-sill incubator

Live oak shakes outside

Whisper in a dream:

"What are you waiting to find?"

As your eyes open

A Safe Place

Cry if crying helps.

I don't have all the right words

But I miss your smile.

A Memory

Remembering you

Quiet morning, soaking bench

Sleepy eyes and hair

Ice Wine

Syrupy perfume

Creep down the concave crystal

Enter spinning core

Dear

Love I felt for you

Fading with the soiled snow

Cleansing breeze of spring

Better Days

Better days will come

When we don't fear what we are

When we aren't so numb

When icy hearts thaw

Like seeing for the first time

Better days will come.

No need to react -

I don't really want to know.

Only to be known.

This one I'd rather not explain.

* * * * *

Third time's not a charm

Before it's started, ruined

By my ignorance

Smile

At the mall I saw an elderly man who looked like he didn't want to be where he was. I thought I knew how that can feel, so I smiled and to my surprise, he smiled back.

* * * * *

Smiling at sad eyes

Reassure him of his worth

Because he seems lost

Slow Waking

I woke up without an alarm at 6:30 this morning but dozed until 8:30. Then I finished the last 50-some-odd pages of a book I've been reading. After my shower at 10, I made a mug of tea before the rest of the house awoke. It's been an extremely peaceful morning. I was remembering the warmth of my bed and the wintry bluish-grey color outside my window as the sun rose when I jotted this down. Hope it isn't too cheesy. I didn't really intend for it to rhyme.

* * * * *

Snuggled, tucked away

Lazy, magic-infused grey

Morning turns to day

Gasoline

Today at the fill-up station I was cut in line. Twice. I was too exhausted to do anything about it but move to the back and start over. But I felt angry with the people inconveniencing me. This one's about smiling like I don't mind while secretly wanting to punch someone's lights out. Is that really a gracious way to live?

* * * * *

Taking the high road

Wait patiently for my turn

Jerk cuts me in line

3 A.M.

This morning I worked the early shift at my job. I awoke at 3 A.M., left the house at 4, and arrived at Store X a few minutes before 5 to put my stuff away and clock in. Twelve hours later, at 3 in the afternoon, I wrote this haiku about waking up so early.

* * * * *

Half a day ago

Before the curtains parted

Sleep clattered away

Snow-Covered

Morning shadow melts

Gleaming field edged by pine trees

Frostbitten masses

Travel Poems

Traveled with some close friends to Watertown, New York, this weekend to visit more friends! I got to drive into town at seven-thirty in the morning when the sun was still rising. At one point on the interstate, I looked to my right at the snow-covered peaks. They were glowing bright pink. Absolutely gorgeous.

* * * * *

Face of the mountain

Snow sifts through the proud treetops

Pink with sun-rise rays

* * * * *

While riding home in the back seat of my roommates' car, we drove into a part of one New York town that reminded me of Burlington's Main Street between I-89 and the campus (where the Staples plaza overlooks the exit ramp). I made believe we were almost home...

* * * * *

Late-evening journey

Pretending to feel at home

On a foreign street

Car Wreck

Humiliation
Turning my wet eyes away
No comfort from self

T.L.

Most nights, something-or-other reminds me of an old friend. I wish I could tell him just once how much he meant to me. Tonight is one of those. My heart never seems to ache any less at his memory. Still, I like to believe we'll someday speak again and that helps a little.

I don't know whether my perception reflects reality because I don't know why he and I are no longer present in each other's lives. Whatever his reasons, however, I believe he felt he was being a truer friend by "leaving" than he would have been, had he lacked the courage to say goodbye. And I respect that instinct - not only because I don't have a choice but also because I trust in his decency and esteem. I'm therefore publishing the following poem not because I seek to idealize my friend or to demand some sort of "answer" from Life, but simply so that for now I won't bury it inside.

In addition to finding relief from persistent thoughts, I'm also trying to learn to have patience with life in general (which, most know, seldom comes with satisfactory explanations) and to open my heart to future friendships despite the certainty of feeling hurt and confused again. I never want to incorrectly feel that the massive beauty of love (friendship) isn't worth its massive risks.

* * * * *

Missing you tonight

Faith in the heart that loved me

Enough to spare me

Seasonal Inspiration

It snowed today. All day. I'm amazed by how much it's snowed. Driving home from the city on I-89, I could barely see the hills in the distance through the veil of white that was falling, falling, falling...

* * * * *

Storm. Colors fade from

Black to gray to tan to white -

Magnificent white.

* * * * *

In Winooski, I passed a Sudanese woman carrying a toddler in a calico baby wrap on her back. Underneath the carrier the woman wore a brown parka but no hat, scarf, or gloves. She looked cold, as though she'd been walking for miles. Just before she left my sight, a visible sigh rose from her plump lips and disappeared on the wind. "That must be a hard life," I thought.

* * * * *

Multicolored back

Firm eyes dulled by bleak routine

Carry baby home

The River

Winding torch-lit path

Whisper ancient mysteries

Black rush remembers

Playing Catch-Up

Yikes! I've missed two posts (and still have today's to write) and am only 7 days into the new year! Rachel, well done for keeping up with your photoblog so faithfully. The results have been astounding.

Because I'm running behind, I figured I'd cheat a little and post a couple poems I wrote some months ago to cover the past two days. While not brand new, they're still worthy of joining my blog collection, I think. Just keep in mind that when I wrote them (particularly the first) I was at a different "place" in my personal journey than today. Who knows? Maybe someone will be able to relate anyway.

* * * * *

Forbidden laughter
Fear of regret separates
My hand from your hand

* * * * *

You don't know my name
Passing in the backlit fog 
Rain soaks through your hat

* * * * *

More to come...

"No more children dying when we know the cure. No more."

Tonight I watched a Vicar of Dibley episode with my family. In it, the village united to end poverty in the "Third World." (MakePovertyHistory.org has more information about the specific campaign featured.) The show reminded me of another presentation I once saw, where impoverished children ate sun-dried mud patties to survive. Because the mud came from a riverbank downstream from a livestock farm that had no means of controlling runoff, harmful chemicals and animal waste were integral ingredients in every meal.

The following haiku is my response to the internal conflict that results from understanding how my Western lifestyle contributes to poverty in underdeveloped nations. It's difficult to think about saving the world when my own friends and family suffer from a lack of resources... but perhaps that's why it's also so important. After all, what stood between me and Poverty when my turn to be born arrived? What stands between us now? I'm not somehow different from the nineteen-year-old mother in Botswana who's dying of AIDS. In the end we're both just doing what's necessary to survive. At least, that's what I tell myself. Deep down I know there must be a better way.

* * * * *

I sell another

Gold chain necklace while she bakes

The manure-pie feast.

Can't Sleep

Last night I awoke at two o'clock in the morning and couldn't fall back to sleep until dawn. Though I felt exhausted today as the result, there's something comforting and sacred about the early hours. Here's a haiku inspired by the experience.

* * * * *

Stretch across my skin

Your threads of silver moonlight

In secret waking